"MAKE-UP" BOOK— HOW TO "MAKE-UP." A practical guide 
for Amateurs, with Twenty-three Colored Illustrations. Price, 50 cents. 



No. CCCLVII. 

FRENCH'S MINOR DRAMA. 
Cte Ecting lEtrition. 



THE DELEGATE 



^' A 



xp^\J' A COMEDY 



V 



IN TWO ACTS. 

BY 

A. R. LEDOUX. 



Copyright, 1894, by T. H. Fbench. 



Nett York 
T. H. FRENCH 

9UCCBSSOR TO 

SAMUEL FRENCH & SON 

publisher 

28 West 23d Street 



London 

SAMUEL FRENCH 

publisher 

89 STRAND 



m:ai£e-xji» box. 

Containing Rouge, Pearl Powder, Whiting, Mongolian, Ruddy Rouge, Violet Powder, 
Box and Puff, Chrome, Blue, Burnt Cork, Pencils for the eyelids. Spirit Gum, India Ink, 
Camel Hair Brushes, Hare's Foot, Wool, Craped Hair, Cold Cream, Joining Paste, Min- 
iature Puffs, Scissors and Looking Glass ; packed neatly in Strong Fancy Card-board 
Boxes, $4.00 ; Elegant Tin Cases, $5.00. 
THE ABOVE ARTICLES TO BE HAD SEPARATELY. For Prices, see Catalogue. 



FRENCH S DESCRIPTIVE LIST. 



SCENERY. 




With a view to obviate the'great difficnlf-y experienced by Araatours (particularly in 
country houses) in obtaining Scenery, &c., to fix in a Drawing Room, and then only 
by considerable outlay for hire and prcat damage caused to walls, we have decided to 
keep a series of Scenes, &c., colored on strong paper, which can be joined together 
•r pastel on canvas or wood, according to requirement. Full directions, with dia- 
grams showing exact size of Back Scenes, Borders, and Wings, can be had free on 
application. The following four scenes consist each of thirty sheets of paper. 



GARDEN. 

The above is an illustration of this scene. It is kept in two sizes. The size of the 
back scene of the smaller one is 10 feet long and 63^ feet high, and extends, with the 
wings and border, to 15 feet long and 8 feet high. The back scene of the large one 
is 13 feet long and 9 feet high, and extends^ with the wings and border, to 20 feet 
long and 11>^ feet high. It is not necessary to have the scene the height of the room, 
as blue paper to represent sky is usually hung at the top, Small size, with Wings and 
Border complete, $7,50 ; large size, do., f 10.00. 

WOOD. 

This is similar In style to the above, only a wood scene ia introduced in the centre. 
It is kept in two sizes, as the previous scene, and blue paper can be introduced as be- 
fore indicated. Small size, with Wings and Borders complete, $7.50; large size, do., 
$10.00. 

FOLIAGE.— This is a sheet of paper on which foliage is drawn, which can b« 
repeated and cut in any shape required. Small size, 30 in. by 20 in., 25 cts. per sheet ; 
large size, 40 in. by 30 in., '^ cts. per sheet. 

TKKE TRUNK.— This is to be used -with the foliage eheeta and placed at tb» 
bottom of the scene. — I*rice and size same as foliage. 



DRAWING ROOM. 

This scene is only kept in the large size. Th« back scene ia 13 feet lonff and 9 feet 
high, and extends, with the wings and borders, xo 20 feet long and 11>^ feet high. 
In the centre is a French window, leading down to the ground, which could be made 
practicable if required. On the left wing is a fireplace with mirror above^ and on the 
right wing is an oil painting. The whole scene is tastefully ornamented and beauti- 
fiUly colored, forming a most elegant picture. Should a box scene be required 
extra wings can be had, consisting of doors each side, which could be made practicable. 
Price, with Border and one set of Wings, $10.00 ; with Border and two sets of Winga, 
to form box scene, $12.50. 

COTTAGE INTERIOR. 

This is also kept in the large eiee only. In the centre is a door leading onteide. On 
the left centre is a rustic fireplace, and the right centre is a window. On the wings are 
painted shelves, &c., to complete the scene. A box scene can be made by purchasing 
extra wings, aa before described, and forming doors on each side. Price, with Border 
and one set of Wings, $10.00 ; with Border and two sets of Wings, to form box scene, 
$12.50. 

The above Scenes, mounted, can be seen at 28 West 23d St, 
^ New York. Full directions accompany each Scene. «- 



THE DELEGATE 



A COMEDY 



ALBERl R LEDOUX 



Copyright, 1894 

/ 



U'"*^^ 



NEW YORK LONDON 

T. H. FEENOH SAMUEL FRENCH 

Successor to Samuel French & Son 

PUBLISHER PUBLISHER 

28 West 23d Stkeet 89 Strand 



A\ . K- 






CAST OF CHAEACTERS. 



Mr. George McAllister. 
Mrs. Maria McAli.ister. 
A Messenger Boy. 

Mary, A Waitress. 

Professor Nathaniel Crinoid, . Brother to Mrs. McAllister. 
Miss Albani, of Boston, .... The Delegate. 



TIME— New York, in the Year 1894 



THE DELEGATE. 



ACT I. 

Scene I. — A dining-room scene. Table with fruit and finger- 
howls. Mk. and Mrs. McAllister seated drhiklng coffee. 
Door-bell rings. Waitress enters with a letter, which she 
hands to Mrs. McAllister. 

Mrs. McAllister. (Reading.) Well! 

Mr. McAllister. Oh ! I can guess fast enough what 
it is — you're elected treasurer of another missionary so- 
ciety, 

Mrs. McA. Don't interrupt. Guess who will be here 
to-night ? 

Mr. McA. Well, don't keep me in suspense. 

Mrs, McA. Brother Nathaniel ! 

Mr. McA. What— of all things— Professor Crinoid! 
What has brought him from his books and specimens? I 
thought he had given up coming. What does he say? 

Mrs. McA. [Beads.) " My Dear Sister : There is a re- 
port that some one has caught a rare specimen of (hesitates) 
Chrysophanus Americanus in your Central Park ; in fact, 
a form closely resembling the (what's this) EjDixanthe. 
They say it is totally different from the ordinary Nympha- 
lis. I must see this, as I strongly doubt their conclusions. 
So I will visit you after all, leaving to-morrow on the 11 
o'clock train and reach your house about 9 o'clock to-mor- 
row night. Your affectionate brother, 

" Nathaniel Crinoid." 

Mr. McA. Well, this is rich. We have invited your 
brother Nathaniel dozens of times to visit us. He has 
never accepted before. Now, he first accepts, then de- 
clines, and finally a new bug, or whatever it is, starts liim 
off ; not much of a compliment to us — eh ? 

Mrs. McA. Oh, well, he is a dear good old fossil, if he 
is my brother, and as kind as he can be. You know that, 



4 THE DELEGATE. 

and how generous he is and unselfish, and how the college 
boys all like him. 

Mr. McA. Yes, and how he dislikes the girls — eh ? 
"What a crank he used to be about the fair sex. It's lucky 
we have no young lady visitor now ; he would either run 
away or disgrace us if he stayed. 

Mrs. McA. I don't know about that. But how lucky it 
is, after all, that I headed off that delegate to the Woman's 
Missionary Convention to-morrow as soon as his first letter 
came. Just suppose I hadn't, and Nathaniel should have 
found some old maid here. 

Mr. McA. Ha, ha — with cork-screw curls. 

Mrs. McA. And goggles. 

Mr. McA. And a nasal twang. 

Mrs. McA. And a subscription-list thrust at you on all 
occasions. By the way, you jDosted the letter, didn't you ? 

Mb. McA. Of course ! 

[Feels furtitiely in his poclcet and starts.) 

Mrs. McA. Mercy, George, you don't mean to say 

Mr. McA. (He j^ulls out a letter from his 2yocket, looking 
very foolish.) Yes, I have forgotten it. Oh, dear, what 

Mrs. McA. Why, she was to arrive this very night and 
my letter was to stop her. What shall we do ? Quick ! 
help me think. 

Mr. McA. Can't we send to the committee or someone 
— whoever meets her at the train ? Or can't we send her 
to a hotel and pay her board if she really comes ? Oh, I 
ana so mad at myself. 

Mrs. McA. Mad ! You'll be madder yet and so will I 
if you don't do something at once. [Rings.) 

Enter Waitress. 

Mrs. McA. [Addressing ^atfkebs.) Mary, ring the mes- 
senger call, quick, and tell the boy to come right in here 
the minute he arrives. [Eoclt Waitress ) 

Mrs, McA. [Beginning to cry.) Oh, dear me, how care- 
less you are. Only one spare room and this horrid old maid 
and a woman-hating crank to entertain at the same time. 

Mr. McA. I'll tell you what — I'll move out to the club 
and you can put him in the s^Dare room and take her in with 
you. 

Mrs. McA. Indeed, I see myself, and let you run away 
from all the trouble. I like that. Oh, George, how could 
you? [Gv.ojiGiL laughs.) 

Mrs. McA. It's no joke. You know how he dislikes 
women ; and for that matter, I can't bear these delegates 



THE DELEGATE. 5 

myself. They own your whole house from the time they 
enter, and always expect to be made so much of. 

Me. McA. And they are always so uninteresting and 
homely. 

Mrs. McA. That sounds like a man. [Boor -bell rings.) 
Mercy ! 

Mr. McA. Suppose it's she ! 

Mrs. McA. Or he ! 

(Both jump up. A messenger hoy enters.) 

Boy. Call? 

Mr. McA. Come in, boy. "Wait a minute while I write 
a despatch. 

(Takes a pencil from his pocket ; goes to table and takes 
a telegrapii blank and begins loritivg. Beads aloud.) 

*' To Mrs. Williams, Chairman of Entertainment Com- 
mittee, Brown Stone Church. No delegates wanted." 

Mrs. McA. That won't do — too abrupt. Oh, hurry! 

Mr. McA. (Writes and counts on his fingers.) "One, 
two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten." That's 
it. " Owing to distress in the family and insects " — no, that 
sounds too suggestive. " Owing to Chrysophanuses and 
Epixanthes can entertain no delegates. Stop her if you 
can." 

Mrs. McA, That's obscure, but will have to do. Here, 
boy! 

f Boy has been standing eating an apple and looking all 
around the room.) 

Boy. Yes, sir. 

Mr. McA. Do you know where the telegraph office is ? 

Boy. Yes, sir — Dey Street. 

Me. McA. No, you little goose ; I mean the nearest 
office — uptown. 

(Boy looks all around stupidly and makes no reply.) 

Mrs. McA. Hurry up, boy, hurry. 

Boy. [Reading message.) Yes, mum. Shall I take this 
to der church ? 

Mr. McA. Now you're talking sense. How much would 
it be? 

Boy. Seventy-five cents. 

Me. MciV. Oh, you little liar, it ought not to be more 
than twenty-five, but here's a dollar if you'll run. 

(Boy starts off very slowly, reading the message, loalks the 
ivrong iv ay, falling over a chair before he gets out of the 
room.) 

Mrs. McA. Oh, if we are only not too late. 



6 THE DELEGATE. 

JDoor-hell rings again. Enter Waitress, laughing, and an- 
nounces Peopessor Ceinoid. After some ilelay, enter 
Peofessor Ceinoid. He has In one hand a carpet-hag 
and old slouch hat, wears large glasses, has long hear and 
long beard. Under his arm is a book and in the lapel of 
his coat and on the side of his hat are specimens of iyi- 
sects fastened. 

Mb. McA. Hello, Nat, delighted to see you ; have some 
coffee ? 

Professor Crinoid. I'm a little early. No, thank yon, I 
dined on the train, but had a horrid ride. I was comxDelled 
to sit in the smoking-car. 

Mrs. McA. Why, brother, we are delighted to see you ; 
but why did you not go in the jDarlor-car '? 

Peof. C. Oh, I did at first, but there was a person in it 
who made me very uncomfortable. In fact, I considered 
this person's behavior decidedly rude, I was laughed at 
in the face. I think it w^as on account of my specimen 
here [points to his coat), which I need for comparison, and 
dared not intrust to my bag. It was so disagreeable to 
me that I changed my car. 

Me. McA. ( Winking at his tvife.) Why did you not 
speak to the gentleman if he was rude to you ? 

Peof. 0. It was no gentleman. It was a young person 
— a young woman — I mean, and like most of her sex, very 
thoughtless and evidently quite superficial. I am glad to 
get here and thankful that you are evidently alone. 
(Me. and Mes. McAllistee look at each other significantly.) 

Mes. McA. Yes, we are alone. We might have had 
company — in fact, I'd invited someone, but have withdrawn 
our invitation. 

Door-hell rings again. Me. and Mrs. McAllister look at 
each other hopelessly. Enter Waitress. Mrs. McAl- 
JASTERpnts her finger on her lips and rises and talks to her 
aside, lohile the Professor op)ens his book and begins 
reading and Mr. McAllister listens to their conversa- 
tion. 

Mrs. McA. Who is it ? 

Waitress. A lady, mum. She says as how she's to stop 
here. 

Mrs. McA. Oh, horroa'S. Tell her, Mary, that we've— 
that we can't — that she's to go to a hotel at our expense. 

Waitress. Excuse me, mum, but she is a young lady, 
mum, and very nice-looking, mum. 



THE DELEGATE, 7 

Mr. McA. {Rising mid joining them, the Professor being 
ahsorbed in his i-eading.) Ah, what's that? She's good 
looking ? Mj clear, can't we make some arrangement ? 

Mrs. McA. Oh, George, what can we do? If she is joucg 
and pretty I can't take the responsibility of sending her to 
a hotel. What can we do ? 

Mr. McA. Well, make the best of it. We're in for it. 
You go and take care of her and I'll tackle Nathaniel. 

[Exit Waitress and Mrs. McAllister.) 

Mr. McA. Ahem ! Nathaniel, by an nnfortnnate cir- 
cumstance we must entertain another guest just over night 
— a delegate to a missionary society, who has been sent to 
us. 

Prof. C. Oh, well, I dare say he will be a very decent 
and quiet sort of a man. 

Mr. McA. But it's a 7co?»«n — in fact a young lady — and 
I don't know whether she is agreeable or not. 

(Professor starts.) 

Prof. C. Why, really that's too bad. I am very sorry 
for you. Can't you send her away ? 

Mr. McA. We certainly shall to-morrow, but we will 
have to keep her over night. 

Prof. C. Dear me, what a pity. I shall certainly avoid 
her. I detest all these blue-stockings with {talking very 
loudly) their cork-screw curls and spectacles and whining 

voices. I believe that half of them 

( Voices heard indistinctly in the hall.) 

Mr. McA. Hush, here they come ! I'm afraid she 
heard you. No — whether she heard you or not they are not 
coming in now, but going upstairs. 

Curtain. 



ACT 11. 



Scene I. — Parlor tcith table and fioicers upon it, chairs, etc. 
Professor Crinoid seated at table studying — comparing 
various specimeiis, scattered about, with his book and idth 
each other. JEtiter Waitress, peeps over his shoulder, 
shudders at the insects, and retires. Enter Mrs. Mc- 
Allister and the Delegate. 

Mrs. McAllister. {Surpyrised.) Why, Nathaniel, are 
you in here? I thought you were still in the dining-room. 
Miss Albani, my brother, Professor Crinoid. 



8 THE DELEGATE. 

Delegate. Charmed to meet yon, Professor. I lioi^e 
you notice my curls and my goggles ! 

(Pkofessor I'ises, much embarrassed and confused, botes 
veri/ stiffly, and says, aside.) 
Prof. Crinoid. Why, this is the young person who was 
on the train. How forward. 

Mrs. McA. What is all this about curls ? 
Delegate. Oh, I heard him ! As we went by just now 
he was talking about me. Called me a blue-stocking and 
said he was sure I wore goggles ! By the way, Professor, 
were you not on the train to-day from Boston? I think I 
saw you. {Conceals a smile.) 

Prof. 0. I ?ms on the train, madam, but was exceed- 
ingly uncomfortable and comiDelled in fact to leave the 

car. I 

Mrs. McA. {Interrupting hastily.) Miss Albani, my 
brother is a very learned man and a very good man, but 
he is devoted to his books and collections, and does not 
care much for the society of our sex. We will go into 
the library. 

Delegate. Oh, I know he won't mind me, because I 
adore insects and am no blue-stocking at all. Do I look 
like one. Professor? 

{She stands in front of J dm and he looks at her a moment, 
then turns aiony much embarrassed.) 
Mr. McA. {CalVmg in the distance.) Maria, where are 
you ? Please come here a minute. 

Mrs. McA. Miss — Miss — Oh, what is your name ? 
I can only think of Delegate. 

Delegate. That's all right. Call me Miss Delegate, it's 
much easier to rememl)er. 

Mrs. McA. My husband is calling me. If you would 
excuse me a moment I will return and bring with me our 
report for to-morrow's meeting. 

{Exit. Door-bell rings. Delegate has taken a seat at 
side of table and begins picking up the specimens. 
Professor looks annoyed and turns his back.) 
Delegate. Oh, what a lovely spider! And this thing. 
Professor, what is it ? 

(Professor i^ams and is apparently interested.) 

Prof. C. Why, that's Blepharida rhois. It was 

{In stalks a viessenger boy and mistaking the Delegate 

for Mrs. McAllister, says.) 

BoT. Missus, the leddy youse sent me to read yer note 

and told me to run back and say to yer, says she, that she 

couldn't stop that Boston leddy nohow, and she's coming 



THE DELEGATE. 9 

to jev house to-nigbt. She says if yer don't want her yer 
can fire her out to a hotel or somewhere. 

(Delegate starts. Peofessoe rises and both look mysti- 
fied-) 

Peof. 0. Boy, remove your hat. This is not Mrs. Mc- 
Allister, I fear you are in the wrong house. We do not 
understand you. 

Boy. No, siree, I hain't made no mistake. I tuk de 
message to Mrs. Williams and I read it, too ; but I couldn't 
get on to the loliole of it. It said you didn't want no dele- 
gate, and Mrs. Williams says to tell yer to send her to der 
hotel. See ? Say, mister, there's a bug on your coat. 

{Exit Boy.) 

Peof. C. This is most extraordinary ! I must tell 
Maiia. {Exit.) 

Delegate. {Alone.) Why, they don't want me ! What 
shall I do? How dreadful! Pm a perfect stranger to 
them, sent here by the committee, and now they have evi- 
dently tried to keej) me away. Oh, I wish I was home 
again. (*S'//6- down and wipes her eyes.) 

Enter Peofessoe Ceinoid, talking. 

Peof. Ceinoid. I can't find Maria any Why, Miss 

Delegate, is anything the matter? 

Delegate. Oh, nothing. {Tries to brace np.) 

Peof. C. I am sure something is the matter. I wish I 
could find my sister and bring her to you. 

Delegate. Oh, don't, please, I don't want to see her. I 
am going away this minute. Let me get my things. 

[Starts toward the door.) 

Peof. C. No, miss, in my sister's absence I cannot let 
you leave the house at this time of night — alone. 

Delegate. I must go. 

Peof. C. Where ? 

Delegate. Anywhere. {Begins to cry.) 

(Peofessoe, distracted, walks up and down in distress, 
then approaches the Delegate. ) 

Peof. C. My dear young lady, I — I — I — really you see 
— I — but come now — won't you — Miss — I don't know how 
to talk to ladies, but I see something that miserable boy 
said has disturbed you. Won't you confide in me ? Oh, 
u'l/ere is Maria ? 

Delegate. Why, don't you see ? They don't want me 
here and sent a message to stoj) me, and I did not get it. 
You are kind ; tell me what you would do. 

{Smiles and wipes her eyes.) 



10 THE DELEGATE. 

Peof. C. {Aside.) Not at all strong-minded and really 
— a — quite pretty. My dear Miss Albani, there must bq 
smne mistake. I am sure anybody would want you! {Looks 
earnestly at lier. She starts to go again.) You can't go 
alone ; I'll escort you. {Commences to pid away his speci- 
onens.) Won't you wait and say good-by to Maria? You 
must remember that I have not been in this house much 
longer than you have, and hence know nothing of this 
matter, but I am sure that neither my sister nor brother- 
in-law would be so rude as to invite a guest and then stiive 
to prevent her coming without some excellent reason that 
can be explained. I beg you to at least wait until Maria 
comes, and if the explanation is not satisfactory and you 
won't remain over night, I'll see you to a hotel or to some 
friend's house. 

Delegate. Perhaps you are right. A young girl can't 
wander about the city alone at night, but I wish I had 
never left home. 

Pkof. C. There, now let's talk about something else. 
Are you really fond of entomology ? 

Delegate. Well — er — I admire butterflies. 

Prof. C. [Enchanted.) Do you really? Do you col- 
lect? 

Delegate. Not now, but I had a collection when I was 
a girl. 

Prof. C. {Aside.) When she was a girl. What is she 
now if she is not a girl and a very nice one. Perhaps you 
would rather talk about x^sychology. I've got Prof. Mar- 
shall Rutger's new work on the Psychosis of Hedonism. 

(Delegate looks utterly blank.) 

Delegate. Mercy ! What's that ? 

Prof. C. Why, hedonics is the science of pleasure. It 
proves that pleasure — even the pleasures caused by the af- 
fections—are — but I'll read it to you. {Reads the follow- 
ing.) " The hypothesis which I wish to present is this : 
that pleasure and pain are qualities of relation, one of 
which must, and, given the proper conditions, either of 
which may, belong to any element of consciousness to which 
the pleasure is attached, or, in other words, of which it is 
a quality, and the condition of i)ain, psychic inefiective- 
ness of the element to which the ])ain is attached. If the 
future non-realization is not thought as positive, i.e., if the 
expectancy is not inhibited as soon as it appears, and if, 
when it is inhibited, the desire arises again toward expec- 
tancy, only to be again inhibited, we should look for an- 
other recognizable state which we have in hope. But 
taking the argument for what it is worth, I think it is not 



THE DELEGATE. 11 

too great a strain upon our credibility to surmise that the 
first undiflFerentiated sense, which has now disappeared in 
its differentiations, may have had attached to it from the 
very start the capacity for pain under excessive stimula- 
tions corresponding to the relation involved in the ten- 
dency to discontinuance of the coincident neural activi- 
ties." {Wipes and pushes up his glasses over his forehead.) 

Delegate. Do you believe this ? 

Pkof. O. Well — er — I don't know about its application 
to the affections. The only one who ever drew out from me 
a strong affection — real love— was my mother. 

Delegate. Poor fellow. 

Pkof. C. I'll read another sentence. Why, where are 
my glasses? They must have fallen off. 

They both hunt on the table and then get on their knees 
and search the floor. While thus engaged Mn. McAl- 
lister appears at the door, and,with amazed face, rushes 
of, saying : ) 

Mr. McA. Holy smoke, Maria must see this. 

Delegate. Let me read it. 

They sit down and Delegate reads the following sentences. 
Enter Mr. and Mrs. McAllister, quietly, as she reads. 
Both stand a moment amused and astonished. 

*' This becomes more important because Alf Lehmann, in 
his ' Hauptgesetze des menschlichen Gefiihlslebens,' up- 
holds the doctrines (A) that each Vorstellung, where the 
individuality of mind is unchanged has attached to it a 
definite pleasure or pain phase which always ajjpears with 
it whenever it arises in presentation or re-presentation ; 
and (B) that what seems to be changes of phase in connec- 
tion with one and the same content are really not due to 
the original content, but to additions of new presentations 
of different algedonic tone. Under our liyi3othesis we do 
not need to look for any special environmental stimulus- 
differentiation corresponding with pleasure and jDain, as we 
did undet the sensational view, if the hypothetical jDleasure 
and pain senses are to fall in line with all other sensations ; 
for under our hypothesis pleasure and pain are determined 
by relations within the organism which are general and 
which occur with all differentiations of environmental ac- 
tion upon us. The eye mediates ethereal vibrations. The 
ear tells of air- waves. Heat and cold terminals react to 
molecular vibrations. Taste probably deals with chemical 
reactions. But pleasure and pain are not determined by 
any such special relation to our environment." 



12 THE DELEGATE. 

Mrs. McA. Well, I am astonished ! 

Mk. MgA. Miss Delegate, if yon only knew what a re- 
markable transformation you have made. Why, Pro- 
fessor Crinoid never would i^peak to a lady if he could help 
it, and now he seems as much at home with one as if 

Pkof. C. I wish your guest felt equally at home. I 
have with difficulty prevented her from running away into 
the street and leaving us. Where have you been, Maria ? 
I've hunted everywhere for you. 

Mrs. McA. Why, what do you mean ? What is it. Miss 
Albani ? I have brought down my Missionary Monthly^ 
and was going to talk it over with our delegate. But what 
is all this about her leaving? 

Peof. C. Why, an impudent messenger boy, who had 
evidently gotten into the wrong house or was all mixed up, 
came in here just now (Mr. and Mrs. McAllister look at 
each other in helpless terror.) and said that someone had sent 
him to a Mrs. Williams with orders to stop some delegate 
from coming somewhere, and that Mrs. Williams sent word 
back it was too late and they could direct her to a hotel. 
(Mr. and Mrs. McAllister look at each other in confusion.) 
I told Miss Albani that I was sure there was some mistake 
or else you had some excellent reason that you will, of 
course, explain. 

[They all rise, and there is an aiokward pause, while they 
look at one another. ) 

Mr. McA. This is awkward. If we were alone. Miss 
Delegate, we could explain everything in a moment. 

Prof. C. Oh, Fm in the way, am I? Perhaps the mes- 
sage not to come was /or me. I'll go. (Starts.) 

Mrs. McA. {Seizing his ami.) Oh, dear, what a mess! 
No, we want you both to stay. I will explain everything to 
Miss Albani. 

Prof. C You must explain to me or / leave this house 
now. What is the mystery ? 

(Mrs. McAllister crosses over and starts to whisper to 
Delegate. Professor starts toward the door.) 

Delegate. No, if there is anything you wish to say to 
me, say it openly. 

Mrs. McA. Oh, dear ! 

Mr. McA. Nathaniel, will you forgive us if we speak 
freely and plainly ? 

Prof. C. Why, certainly. But what have I done? 
What is this terrible mystery? 

Mi:s. McA. Nothing, you dear old fossil {puts her arm 
around him), but Pve done sometliing very foolish and am 
very sorry for it. Miss Albani, when we volunteered to 



THE DELEGATE. 13 

entertain a delegate we had in mind some old maid with 
determined ways and disagreeable manners 

Delegate. And corkscrew cuiis? 

(Pkofessor looks mortljied.) 

Mrs. McA. And looked upon it as a great bore, bnt a 
duty. Two or three days ago I got a letter from brother 
Nathaniel saying that he might come here this week, and I 
knew how he dislikes all of our sex. 

Delegate. ( With wide-open eyes.) Does he? 

Prof. 0. [Lnohmg embarrassed.) Go on — go on, 

Mrs. McA. And knew how unpleasant it might be 

Prop. C. For the delegate ? 

Mrs. McA. No, for you. (Mr. McAllister opens his eyes 
wide.) So we wrote a letter to the committee that we could 
not have anyone. 

Mr. McA. And I forgot 'to mail it and sent a message, 
too late it seems, to-night, and the stupid boy gave you the 
answer. 

Delegate. {Stiffly.) I am sure I am very sorry and will 
relieve you and the Professor at once of my disagreeable 
presence. I should have gone before if permitted. 

Mrs, McA. {Going to her.) My dear, we will not hear 
of your going. When we saw our delegate, we were thank- 
ful our note had miscarried. 

Delegate. You are kind, I'm sure, but I am sj^oiling 
the Professor's visit. It was on his account you tried to 
head me off. It's late now, but if you will just keep me 
till morning I'll go then. Good-night. 

{She liurries out of room and Mr. and Mrs. McAllister 
follow her.) 

Mr. McA. Back soon, Nat. 

Prof. C. {Alone.) Am I then such a fossil — such a 
crank? Do I seem so to dislike all ladies' society? I 
suppose I am peculiar, but I don't want to be rude oi- un- 
kind. 



{He stands a moment in thought, finds and wipes his glasses. 
Delegate re-enters in smiles and checks herself as she 
sees his attitude.) 

Prof. C. {Continuing his soliloquy.) Now, this little 
delegate — she is not like the rest — she is young and pretty, 
yet she is sensible. Slie is bright, yet she is no blue-stock- 
ing. If all were like her I would not dread them. I 
might even— yes, I might love, perhaps, some day. 



14 THE DELEGATE. 



Delegate runs out on tiptoe, coughs, and re-enters. 

Delegate. Excuse me, but I forgot my handkerchief. 

Prof. C. Oh, you are smiling. Have you forgiven 
them and me ? 

Delegate. Yes, they have been lovely, and I believe 
they want me to stay. But you — can you stand my pres- 
ence in the house just one day ? 

Peof. C. Will you be frank with me if I am with you ? 
You are true and honest. 

Delegate. Why, certainly, I'll be frank ; but how do 
you know I am true and honest ? 

Pkof. C. Oh ! I knou) it. Miss Albani, I want you to 
stay ; but tell me, do I look like a, fossil? 

Delegate. {Smiles a little as she looJcs at him.) iVb 
your face is noble and your eyes the very soul of truth. 

Peof. C. Oh, I don't mean that. What was funny in 
my ai^pearance when you first saw me in the car ? 

Delegate. ^Yell, inust I — your coat is Just a little old- 
fashioned, and vou had an insect on the lapel. 

Prof. C. Is ''that all? 

Delegate. Your hair is rather long. 

Prof. G. Go on. 

Delegate. And you would look a little younger and 
better with less beard or even if it were trimmed, and with- 
out such large spectacles, and — with a different tie. 
There ! I am honest, but aren't you hurt? I am dreadtal, 
and I laughed at you rudely in the train. Forgive me, 
will you? 

Prof. C. {Smiles and says :) We will see about that to- 
morrow. You will stay and I will too. Good-night! 

{Exit Professor, Delegate looking after him tenderly.) 

Delegate. Who could think that man rude ? He has 
the kind and simple heart of a child, I am sure ; so much 
above the men one meets every day— so wise and so good ! 

Delegate follows slowly out of room. Waitress enters 
and commences to arrange the furniture, examines speci- 
mens with curiosity. Re-enter Prof. Crinoid, and says: 

Prof. C. Oh, I must put away my specimens. {Notices 
Waiiress and stops, thinks, then says:) Ahem! You — are — 
the — a — person who — attends the door? 

Waitress. Yes, sir. 

Prof. C. Well, here's something for you. {Hands Jier 
a gold j^iece.) When I come in to-morrow night don't 



THE DELEGATE. 15 

announce me ; just say, *' A gentleman who will not give 
his name has come in." There will be some flowers here 
in the afternoon ; say nothing, but give them to Miss 
Albani. 

Waitress. Oh, yes, sir ; certainly, sir. (Pkof. Crinoid 
hastily takes up his books and specimens and retires.) (Wait- 
ress, looking at her coin.) Oh, what a lovely man. I 
don't mean pretty — just lovely. 

Curtain. 



Scene II, — Same persons. Same room. Mr. and Mrs. 
McAllister present; she seated, he standing ; both in 
evening dress. 

Mr. McAllister. Well, how did your meeting come 
off? 

Mrs. McAllister. Oh, it was very interesting ; but I 
was nervous after last night. Mrs. Williams did not 
help me any, for she began to tell me, right before our 
delegate, whom of course she did not know by sight, how 
sorrow she was that she could not head her off. 

Mr. McA. Well, I was nervous too. I have wondered 
all day why Nathaniel did not come to breakfast and what 
he meant by that note. What did he say, exactly ? Have 
you kept it ? 

Mrs. McA. [Takes note from her pocket and reads.) 
*'Dear Sister: I'm off early for certain reasons. I'll 
not be back to dinner, but will be in about 9 this 
evening." 

Mr. McA. [Looking at his watch.) It's nearly 9 now. 
By the way, where is our delegate ? 

Mrs. McA. Oh, here she comes. I hear footsteps. 

Miter delegate wearing goggles, a queer hat, and cork-screw 
curls, her dress covered by water-proof, and carrying a 
large book marked " Subscriptions." 

Mr. McA. Great Scott ! Maria what is it ? By the 
way, didn't I tell you ? I promised to run down to the 
club for a few minutes this evening. I'll be back 

Mrs. McA. Sh! No you don't. Madam do you wish 
to see us ? 

Delegate. [Disguising her voice.) I am soliciting sub- 
scriptions for the Society for Belief of Aged and Indignant 
Females. I was told that the distinguished Professor 



16 THE DELEGATE. 

Crinoid, of Boston, was stopping here. I found the front 
door open, so I came right in. 

Mk. McA. That lets me out. I'll stay. But — say, 
Maria, don't let Nat see it — he'll expire. Get rid of her 
somehow before he comes. 

(Delegate takes a seat and removes her glasses.) 

Delegate. Didn't you know me? 

Mrs. McA. Well, I never ! What a joke ! Splendid ! 
It is jDerfect. 

Mr. McA. Perfect 's no name for it. Say, Miss Dele- 
gate, I'll give ^10 to your society if you'll wait here 
till Crinoid comes. It'll be more fun than a barrel of 
monkeys. Your disguise is perfect. 

Delegate. [Looking around.) You are alone, then ? 

Mr. McA. Yes, Nathaniel has not returned. 

Delegate. Oh, I hope I did not offend him. We had 
a very serious talk last night. I got myself up in this dis- 
guise to achieve the Professor's ideal of what a delegate 
ought to look like. I'm sorry he is gone. It was a relief 
after that long meeting. I needed some fun to offset the 
effect of Mrs. Williams's lecture. 

Mr. McA. What was the subject ? 

Delegate. "Shall we Recommend the Delsarte Method 
for the Pupils of our Congo Female Institute ? " 

Loor-hell rings. Enter Waitress. 

Waitress. Mr. McAllister, a gentleman insists on com- 
ing in without announcing his name. Here he comes. 

Prof. Crinoid enters in evening dress, icearing eyeglasses in- 
stead of spectacles, a flower in his hidtonhole ; his hear is 
cut and nicely brushed and his heard gone. Delegate 
replaces goggles. All stare at him, and he at the Dele- 
gate. 

Prof. Crinoid. Good-evening, everybody. 

Delegate. Good-evening sir. 

Mrs. McA. Why, it's Nathaniel ! {She crosses over and 
hugs him. Mr. McAJllister grasps her hand and says :) 

Mr. McA. Well, Pll— splendid— by Jove! splendid! 

Prof. C. [Pointing to Delegate.) "^ Why, wlio's that? 
Is it possi1)le you have taken in another stranger ? Dear 
me, I wish I'd known ? I must go. 

Mr. McA. ( Winking at his wife.) That's a canvasser for 
the Woman's Missionary Society. I believe it's the same 
society our delegate belongs to. She's waiting for you, by 



THE DELEGATE. 17 

the way, and we couldn't get rid of her. You'll have to 
help us out. 

Peof. 0. That's dreadful ; but I'll make short work of 
her. ( zlo?<ir ess m^ Delegate.) Madam, are 3'ou waiting for 
me? 

Delegate. [Disguising her voice.) No, sir. I'm waiting 
for the distinguished Professor Crinoid, of Boston. 

Prof. C. Well, I'm Professor Crinoid. What do you 
wish ? 

Delegate. I don't know you, sir. Don't trifle with me. 
Professor Crinoid is a very different looking person. 

Peof. C. Madam, I presume from your appearance yon 
are soliciting subscriptions. Will you go if I give you ^10 
for your society ? 

Delegate. 'Well, I don't believe I would have gotten 
more from Professor Crinoid himself. If that gentleman 
over there [pointing to Mr. McAllister) will add another 
ten, I'll go at once. 

Mr. McA. {Aside.) She's got me this time. Madam, 
here's the money. [Each hands her a hill.) 

Delegate. Shall I wait and write you out a receipt? 

Prof. C. No, madam. We don't require any receii^t. 
We're very busy. You're interrupting us. Maria, ask 
Mary to conduct this person to the door. 

(Delegate retires. Mrs. McAllister sits down, the 
gentlemen standing.) 

Prof. C. My, what a relief ! How long has that wom- 
an been here ? 

Mr. McA. Not very long. Have you ever seen her be- 
fore ? She seemed to know you at least. 

Prof. C. No, I hope I shall never see her again — but, 
you're alone this evening ? 

Mrs. McA. Why, that's what you want, isn't it ? Aren't 
you glad ? 

Prof. C. I hope my rudeness has not frightened away 
your delegate. But, say, is this an improvement ? 

[Indicating change in hair and apparel. Mr. anc? Mrs. 
McAllister, speaking together.) 

Mr. McA. I should smile ! 

Mrs. McA. Lovely ! Lovely ! 



Delegate runs in in evening dress, having removed goggles, 
cloak, etc., in time to say : 



Delegate. Just too sweet for anything 



18 THE DELEGATE. 

Enter Waiteess with messenger hoy, the latter icalking slow- 
ly and carrying box of Jiowers, which he hands to Mrs. 
McAllister. 

Prof. C. Why, my young friend ! Have you been ever 
since 3 o'clock getting here ? 
Boy. {Yaioning.) I was tired. 

Mrs. McA. [Reading address.) These are for you, Miss 
Delegate. 

(Prof. Crinoid stands ivatching Delegate as she, slowly 
and embarrassed, opens the package. ) 
Mr. McA. Wife, don't you think we'd better go ? We're 
not in it. 

[Exit Mr, and Mrs. McAllister. The former drags out 

messenger by the collar. Mrs. McAllister motions to 

Waitress to retire. Delegate unwraps flowers and 

finds card.) 

Delegate. Why, Professor, these are from you ? How 

lovely? Then I am forgiven. [Tableau.) 



Curtain. 







PROSCENIUM AND DROP SCENE. 

3E'ZFL^>SODE33>J'XTJ3!^.— A most eff^tive Proscenium can b« 
formed by utilizing the paper made for this purpose. Three pieces of wood are merely 
required, shaped according to this design, and covered with the paper ; tr.e proscenium 
having the appearance of light blue puffed satin panels, In gold frames, with Shake- 
speare medallion in the centre. 

Puffed satin paper, Light Blue, size 20 inches by 20 inches, per sheet, 25 eta. 

Imitation Gold Bordering, per sheet, 25c., making 14 feet. 

Bhakespearian Medallion, 18 inches in diameter, 50 cts. 

3DH.^>I» SIOJbJ]>J'DES.— The picture shown above is an fllast»- 
tion of this scene. It comprises four sheets of paper which are to be pasted in th» 
centre of any sized canvas that may be requisite for the drop curtain. Size 6^ fee* 
by 5 feet. Price $2.50. 



, — ^These comprise three sheets of paper each, and can b« 
had either for drawing-room or cottage purposes. Size, 7 ieet by 3 feet. Price, com- 
plete, §1.25 eacli. 

X/W I3>TZDO'\A/'«— This is a parlor window formed •:71th two sheeta 
of paper, and could be made practicable to slide np and down. The introduction of 
curtains each side would make it very effective. Size, 8 feet by 4Js^ feet. Priofl^ 
$1.00, complete. 

JI^"JHL3ES3>3*03E3C ' W IIXTID O'^T^.- Consistin jf of tovt 
sheets of paper, representing a window containing four laige ornamental frosted glsst* 
panes with colored glass around. Size 6>^ feet high oy 6 feet. Price $1.50. 

"WTTT^ais^ •!!=» •¥•■ /K <Tm, — This is also made with two sheets ot paper. 
The fire is lighted, but should this not be required a fire-paper can be hung over it. It 
will be found most useful in many farces wherein a character has to climb up a chim- 
ney, and many plays where a fireplace is indispensable. By purchasing a door, win- 
dow, and fireplace an ordinary room scene c 'i easily be constructed with the addl* 
ttoa of some wall-pai)er. Size, 3 feet by 4^ fw... frice, complete, %l,ii&. 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



FRENC 



Fl 



April Folly 

At Sixes and Sevens 

Barbara 

Barou's Wager 

Betsv 

Bow' Hells 

Brea(.'li of Promise 

Breaking the Ice 

Brothers (The) 

Bubbles 

By Special Eequest 

Case for Eviction 

Chalk and Cheese 

Charity 

Circumstances Alter Cases 

Confederate Spy 

Compromising Case 

Crazed 

Crossed Love ^ 

Danicheffs 

Dimity's Dilemma 

Dreams 

Duchess of Bayswater & Co 

Duty 

Engaged 

Equals 

False Shame 

Fennel 

First Mate 

For the Old Love's Sake 

Garden Pai"ty 

Garrick (Muskerry) 

George Geith 

Gentle Gertrude Bull 

Girl Graduate 

Girls (The) 

Glimpse of Paradise 




j>j iu vv 



Gretchen 

Harvest Home 

His Own Guest 

Hook and Eye 

In Honor Bo^ind 

Iron Master (The) 

Lady Fortune 

Linked by Love 

Long Odds 

Love Game 

Lyrical Lover 

Major and Minor 

Man Proposes ( Grtindy) 

Marble Arch 

Melting Moments 

Merry Meeting 

Mariner's Return 

Miser 

Month After Date 

My Friend Jarlet 

My Little Girl 

My Lord in Livery 

Nearly Seven 

Nearly Severed 

Nettle 

Not Such a Fool, etc. 

Obliging His Landlady 

Off Duty 

Old Cronies 

On the Brink 

Once Again 

Once a Week 

Open Gate 

Overland Route 

Palmistry 

Petticoat Perfidy 

Pity 



Playmates 

Prompter's Box 

Postscript 

Progress 

Punch 

Ruined by Drink 

Railway Adventure 

Row in the House 

Sample vs. Pattern 

Saved 

Second Thoughts 

Senior Wrangles 

Sins of the Fathers 

Sixpenny Telegram 

Sour Grapes 

Spur of the Moment 

Steeple Jack 

Step" Sister 

Sunny Side 

Sunset 

Sunshine 

Taken by Storm 

Tears: Idle Tears 

That Dreadful Doctor 

The Nightingale 

Thorough Base 

Through the Fire 

Tom Pinch 

True Colors 

Two Pros 

^Tiich 

■NVTiy Women Weep 

Woman's Wrongs 

Written in Sand 

Yellow Roseai 

Yeoman's Service 



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